Dandelion Revisited



            I cannot tell a lie. I don’t like gardening. The only plants I purchase are perennials because I want to plant only once. I dig a hole, stick the plant in the ground, add water and pronounce: “Good luck. Live or die, you’re on your own – bona  fortuna.” And that’s that. You could describe my landscaping as “the Darwinian Style.” In other words, it’s the survival of the fittest in my yard.

            That explains my effort to upgrade the lowly dandelion from weed to flower. You will notice that  flowers need coaxing to thrive. Weeds just bloom where they’re planted and where their seeds wander or fall from the claws of birds.  I think their heartiness rates applause. They’re low maintenance.

            Of all the so called weeds, only the dandelion looks pretty with its bright yellow flower. Given half a chance, these hearty blossoms will spread a golden carpet over lush green grass from one end of your yard to another. Low maintenance.

            But that’s not all! One can make wine out of the dandelion, which I am told is quite tasty. Not only that, the dandelion greens added to a bit of olive oil and garlic can be savored alone or made  to grace a salad. If you are still not convinced the dandelion rates an upgrade, consider that the University of Rochester – a leader in science, medicine and fine arts - adopted the dandelion as its official flower. Yes indeed! The University even celebrates “Dandelion Day.”

            Now really, what more evidence do you need to protect these hearty flowers from becoming an endangered species? Why attack them like Enemy #1?

            I mentioned my philosophy to Good Neighbor Dave who lives next door. He agreed a dandelion salad is just delicious and kindly invited me to help myself to all his dandelions. Hmmmmmm. I wonder if that conversation went in the direction I planned.

           

Always a Crime Fighter

            When we were dating, my future husband wrote me unique letters. The best part was his hand drawn cartoon about the adventures of “Chicken-man, the Crime Fighter.” Chicken-man was a plucky forensic chicken who experienced many adventures.

            My real life crime fighter certainly had his adventures but he was no chicken.

            One afternoon he stopped at a popular watering hole in the city for lunch. The place drew saints and sinners alike. There were representatives of the legal professional as well as their customers who were not currently in “public residence,” so to speak.

            Gene was sipping his after lunch coffee when the waiter wiped a nearby table and held up a small clear plastic bag, about the size of a large postage stamp. He waved the thing in the air for all to see the white powdery contents. No one looked up at what was clearly a street drug.

            “Does this belong to anybody?”  he asked. Without hesitation Gene approached the waiter.

            “I’ll take it.”

            He left the restaurant and drove to the lab, all the while checking his rear view mirror. He tested the little white goodie and sure enough, heroin.

            Someone’s “tip for the waiter” ended up in the right place! Chicken man indeed!